Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
