I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
