super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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