i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
