Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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