Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
