we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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