Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
