And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
