is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
