every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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