I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
pray to the hookup gods
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