Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
