Swine flu. Run for my life!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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