Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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