I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
