having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I queefed so loud it echoed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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