he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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