a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
