I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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