i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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