Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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