Christians are straight up FREAKS
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
