She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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