I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
