He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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