Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
