I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
