well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
