shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
