Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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