Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
