im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
