My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
