Don't you send me to vm
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
