I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
