Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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