yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
