I looked at my own cervix.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
