I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
