maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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