And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
