I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
