reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
