how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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