do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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