Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
