You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
All the doctor said was why
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
