This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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