I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
