Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
