She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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