Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
