Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just come out here and I will go home with you...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
