You surviving the open bar?
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Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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