Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
