i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
