jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
