Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
