we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize