I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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