Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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