I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You ate ashes out of my bong
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
