bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i out mim tonsoeep
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