yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
