Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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