think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
