Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
