all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
