I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
